The Decline

by Extortionist

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04:22
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03:18
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02:54
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03:17
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03:31
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02:55
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02:19
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02:43

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Recorded, Mixed, Mastered by Calvin Russell of DJSM Studios

All music written by Extortionist

Album art by Hari Fadil & Ben Hoagland

credits

released February 17, 2017

Calvin Russel
Jared Dorsla
Hari fadil
chugcore
Pinup Artist Management
Artery global

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all rights reserved

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Extortionist Idaho

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Track Name: Regression
I hate what I have become.
I miss the way things used to be.
Before there was an ounce of hate that was inside of me.
Before i knew what was in store, i was too blind to see that I found the silver lining.
But I guess i wrapped it around my fucking throat.
There is no turning back from here.
I'm alone with no place left to go.

Not a place I can go.

It's taking over my mind.
It's taking over my life.
I spend my days trying to escape this hole that i've made for myself
Let me rot in this hell.
I've become something I truly hate.
Rid me of my place and forget my fucking name.

This is what I never wanted to be.
And the weight of regret will never set me free.

I am facing the consequence.
I'll hate myself till I'm dead.
This is something I cant win.
And I cant wait for this to end.

I can't even count how many times the thought of ending my life has crossed my mind.
Because I'm dead in your eyes.

I've dug my grave with every mistake that i've ever made
Now this weight on my chest, it will never go away.
This is only the beginning of my suffering.
And it wont stop until I'm in the dirt that's under me.

(voice 1)
You have no idea what it's like to wake up every day and want to tear out your fucking eyes every time you look at yourself in the mirror.
Please just let this stop. I know what i've done. I'm begging for this to stop. I cant take it anymore.
Get out.

(Voice 2)
You worthless, empty shell. How do you live with yourself? Your life amounts to nothing. And there is nobody left for you here
Get out.
Track Name: Guilt (feat. David Libert of Barrier)
I thought everything would be just fine.
That we would make amends and we would be alright.
But I never got to say goodbye. I swear i'm losing my mind.
The more that time passes me by.

I've been living in a world crawling on my knees.
Fucking losing sleep. (Grinding my fucking teeth)
My innocence is tearing at the seams.
Why cant I escape this guilt that's haunting me?
It's strangling me.
But you'll never under stand that guilt will never set me free.
I'm a liar and a coward and my gut still turns within each passing hour.

Why cant I just close my eyes?
Why cant I just close my eyes?
Why cant I just close my eyes?
And say goodbye to this life of mine.

The weight of regret is fucking dragging me down.
Sinking deeper and deeper, forcing me to drown.
In a sea that has nothing left for me but a series of bad memories.
Nothing but a frayed sanity.


Why cant I just close my eyes?
Why cant I just close my eyes?
And say goodbye to this life of mine.
Because I'm losing my fucking mind.

I would do anything to put my thoughts at ease.
And rid myself of the man I said I would never be.
I'm a fuck up.
I'm a coward and I'm so fucking sorry.
I would do anything if I could just rest in peace.

I would do anything if I could just rest in peace.
Track Name: 1208
Restless nights, just a kid in the streets.
In a dead end town with bottles at my feet.
No where to turn I fucking lie and weep.
I lie and weep.
Drowning in misery, wash away the pain.
Trying hard just to make it through the day.
So i laid my fucking conscious to waste.
And i'm not proud of the decisions I've made.

Terminally ill inside my head.
Just take another pill so you can forget.
Drown yourself in a bottle.
Spend your days wishing you were fucking dead.

Restless nights these streets are filled with deceit.
They lie through their teeth, thrive on perpetual greed.
So they can get their fix of sympathy.
This is where I never wanted to be.

Your stuck inside a sick and twisted mentality.
Living life inside a jaded reality.

I'm done falling victim to all of your lies.
I'm taking back what's mine.
I'm taking back what is mine.

These kids think they know pain, but they know nothing.
You front so fucking tough, but you fool no one.
Lie through your teeth just for the attention.
You wear a mask of your own synthetic depression.
Now when reality spits in your face, you'll rot with me at the bottom, sinking in shame.

Until you're in your fucking grave.

Walk a mile in my shoes and there will be no comprehension of what it's like to feel this way.
Cause when reality spits in your face you'll rot with me at the bottom, sinking in shame.

Until you're in your fucking grave.
Track Name: Wither Away
All I've ever wanted was to not feel so alone.
I gave up everything.
Now this just goes to show that I meant nothing to you.
Nothing more than a temporary fix of all your problems.
What the fuck did you become?
I gave up everything just to fucking die alone.
Did I mean nothing to you?

I still cant get these thoughts out of my mind.
I remember the day that you left me behind.
I just wanted to be apart of your life but you were just a contribution to my fucking demise.

Dead eyes and a crooked smile you are nothing more.
Than just another fucking rat clawing at my door.
The one person that was always there for you..
Now I will never come back for you.

As each lonely day goes by i still wonder if I fucking cross your mind.
I was the only one left standing.
Does it ever cross your mind that I'm still rotting below?
That Im sinking into this abyss all alone.
you let the world swallow my soul.

And I remember the day that you were lead astray.
You left without a single word to say.
You're in the back of my mind and now I'm running blind.
There is no sign of hope that is left in sight.

I've been screaming your name but you look the other way.
It never had to fucking be this way.
you let me wither away and there's nothing left to say.

Throw my soul in the dirt forever I will decay.
Track Name: Animosity
I live in a world that's plagued my mind and left my morals behind.
In the place of no return.
Death to my benevolent conscious.

A rebirth of a man who once was pure.
But left in the place of no return.
In the mouth of the world that chewed and spit him out.
This fucking world has chewed and spit him out.
This world has chewed and spit him out.

The remnants of a corrupted population have ignited a vile creation.
A product of hatred.
A product of a fucking repulsive nation.

I see your faces as you take the walk of shame straight to your graves.
Just praying each day that you will be saved.
But you will just rot in place.

What I have in my heart, i'll take to my fucking grave.
All the minds of the people have begun to decay.
Living for yourself is the only fucking way to live in a world that will never be saved.

We are born fucked.

What I have in my heart, i'll take to my grave.
All the minds of the people have begun to decay.
Living for yourself is the only way to live in a world that will never be saved.

Never be saved.
Track Name: Neglect
There's a lot on the outside that I never show.
My insecurities forever hide behind a cloak.
Faking smiles, always searching for a new way to cope with the pain.
I hang my head in shame.
Constant embarrassment, let the world forget my name.
I've lived my life in the darkest of places and I'll die the same.
I'll fucking die the same.

Social anxiety, I'm constantly contained.
Every day gets harder to show my face.
Rid me of my place.
none of you even listen anyway.
You just look the other way when I plea for help.
Time is running out.
Save me from this hell.
Same me from myself.

I just wish you could see what you meant to me.
You told me you would be there, you turned your back on me.
I just wanted to feel like I was worth something but now a look of disgust is all I ever see.

In my hands I've broken every fucking bone to ease all the pain that I've ever been shown.
I feel empty inside.
Every day I feel the life slowly drain from my eyes.

I just wanted to live my own life with the ones that I love by my side but im nothing but a burden in their eyes.
Track Name: Imbalance
Here I am, a broken man.
Trying to make it through these days.
Trying the best i can.
To silence the voice that lurks inside my head.
To cease the desire to be one with the dead.

I never thought my life would come to this.
A mental illness that I wish did not exist.
I used to feel alive. Now I feel nothing.
I feel empty inside.
I'm not worth anything.
I would give up all i have just to feel something.
I would give all i have to not feel like this.

My times' running out. I'm drowning in self doubt, my insecurities and a haunting voice that I wish would get out.
Rid me of these thoughts before all hope is lost.
Rid me of these thoughts before I'm dead and gone.

I wake up every day with a decision that I have to face.
Do i continue to live this life that I hate?
I feel dead to the world. Nothing but worthless in my eyes.
Constantly asking myself why do i even try?

I try my best to pull myself off of the floor.
No matter what I do I still hear death knocking on my door.
I have been in search of something more.
I cant keep living a life that i fucking deplore.

Clouded vision, caused by all the hurt.
My moral compass has lead me face down in the dirt
I've lost my worth and i cant be saved.
I've dug my own grave now please forget my face.